This is Home?

This is Home?

Hong Kong Pro-Democracy Protesters Clash With Police In Surreal Scenes
The Huffington Post UK

Out of the 27 surreal (dystopian) images captured by The Huffington Post last night, this 9th one pains me the most:

He's not even doing anything. Just standing there, decked out in full protective gear: a combat suit, shelter helmet, eye shield and a freaking gas mask. Feeling important. Granted, it is likely that this member of the HKPF, too, has a family and desires true democracy. Or maybe he's been brainwashed to worship the wishes of China's Capital. Either way, this shot frustrates me beyond words. The pictures showing tear gas pealing through our inky sky and clouding round HongKongers, who are in turn hiding behind umbrellas and cling film... Those make my proud... And break my heart. My good friend is down there at the moment, distributing water to those that need to wash their eyes out. I admire his deeds; I wish I could go down (I'm kind of... immobile right now. I sprained my ankle on a trail hike two days ago, but that's for another post.). I'm sorry if these updates are bothering you, but democracy affects us all - like it or not, this is relevant. It's absurd how our government is reacting to our plead for a simple human right: democracy. Whatever we'd been promised during the 1997 Handover, we're now being eroded of. I hope Hong Kong will be returned to its beautiful and phenomenally safe metropolitan state soon.

Keep sparkling, Hong Kong.
Jan out.x

Wear Yellow for Hong Kong

Wear Yellow for Hong Kong this October 1st.

https://www.facebook.com/events/448929675246041/

Please take a few minutes to read about this Facebook event and join. I'd like to express my gratitude to the six students who started this at Harvard. There are currently already over 10.5k going. I urge you to join the movement and share. Change your profile pictures. 

I trust you, Internet Friends, to spread the word. Thank you.

Jan out.x

I need to say this at 2am

I'm turning to you for help. Do you know what's going on in #HongKong right now? #Police are responding to #peaceful #youth #protesters with #violence. Yes, that's mostly #teenagers and #students - all HK desires is to not be overruled with the #communist system, and here we have #teargas bombs going off and policemen threatening to open #fire with rifles. My city is being turned over and it's painful and #heartbreaking to watch. I trust you to help spread the word about our city. We really need all the #support we can get - HK's making history with this current #nightmare, and it's an international story. But please - YouTube something along the lines of 'hong kong pro democracy protest' and see for yourself :\ Broadcasts brought me shivers and almost to tears. I'm scared for our people, and for the first time in my life, fear that I may be physically hurt by violence. It's so physically close - 10 minutes' drive, to be exact.

➤ From my cousin, but I stand by her words completely:

Okay. I realize that my opinion may be shared by many, few, or none at all, but here it is anyway.

Hong Kong is my home, and has been for my entire life. It almost physically hurts for me to see that the Occupy Central protesters, who are Hongkongers just like me, are being threatened, harmed, and disregarded like this by the government. So their actions may not be lawful, - it's a civil disobedience movement after all - but Rosa Parks was breaking the law when she didn't stand up on that bus.

All I'm saying is, the media may be biased, I don't know. I may not know the whole story. But what I do know is this: fully geared policemen with gas masks and whatnot are firing pepper spray and tear gas at peaceful protesters who have cling wrap and towels. It's umbrellas against guns. Rifles pointed at 16 year olds. C.Y. Leung grinning at a media conference and saying it's not his problem - this coming from our Choef Executive. In my opinion, these are Hong Kong citizens, who are our peers, mothers, fathers, grandparents, teachers, friends, who are fighting for our rights yet being harmed for it. All I can say is, I fear for their safety, but I am so proud.

I realize I might not be the most qualified to say all this, but it is only my opinion, and I hope HK gets the democracy it deserves.

Confessions and Life Sorting

Dear Internet Friends,

I’ve something embarrassing to admit. It’s only logical that I share this with you here because it’s quite relevant to the recent focuses of my blog.

I ‘unveganised’ from PVP2 early - two days early, to be exact. So instead of 7 full days, I only managed 5. I’m ashamed. I feel like I’ve let you guys down as well. I’m getting my act together now.

I hope I’m not making too big a deal out of this. I hope I’m not downplaying this mini failure either. Please just know that I regret it. My only explanation is stress and decline of discipline. By stress, I mean in addition to the unhealthy IB workload and university applications, it was super stressful keeping this vegan thing from my parents. You know how Asian parents are, well - maybe not, but the more meat you eat, the better child you are. My mum especially - she’s been eyeing my habits at dinner every night and questioning my choices throughout the meals. Christ, it’s not enjoyable, nor is it easy to sustain. I didn’t mean to offend anyone by using the word “Christ”. But really, it was stressful. She didn’t notice the first time I tried out Project Vegan! Why now?

So to bring this to a positive note, I’ve decided to tidy my life a little. Too tidy, everyone knows, isn’t ideal. But a little tidy is nice, right? I’ve made a list with brief explanations, and I’d like to share it with y’all:

1. Sort out my school e-mail mailbox. SERIOUSLY OMG.
2. Sleep before midnight EVERY NIGHT. SERIOUSLY OMG. AGAIN. REALLY. #IBLIFE
3. Actually, uh, do homework. So I don’t have to rush work during registration every morning.
4. Manage my time more wisely by (i) working during free periods; (ii) by ‘working’ I mean WORKING. A.K.A. All things not YouTubeInstagramFacebookDancingWithTheStarsSoYouThinkYouCanDancePinterestEatingEatingEatingPillowWars... Yes, Pillow Wars. I’ll explain in another post in the very near future. I’m a genius... I said I’ll explain. Oh yeah, back on topic: (iii) by not spending an hour (or more) after school every day watching videos. I mean, I need to keep up with the YouTube world, but an hour a day, especially these next few months as a final year IB student, is downright stupid. I said that. I cannot be stupid any longer.
5. Trust more people. I probably trust four people in my life right now: my mum, dad, brother, and myself. Is that sad, that I don’t trust any friends 100%? Actually, make that six people. I’ve got two verysuperincredibly best friends. They’re great. Anyway, my point is, I don’t open up very easily; I generally don’t allow people to see my vulnerable, human side, and I think it may be time for me to do the exact opposite. I think that letting my guard down every so often will improve my communicability with others and have more people respect my presence... I mean, it’ll be a good way to make new friends. That’s a simpler way to put it. Hah. My existing friends are phenomenal, but I’d also like to strengthen our relationships. But then we’ll all be split up in less than a year, when we are all heading off to uni. So I shouldn’t get too attached to anyone... THIS CONTRADICTION THO. I think I’ll just give it a try. Ayyy
6. Become more flexible. This was a sharp turn from my previous point. But it’ll be so fun! I’m working on the splits. I might have them down my Christmas. I truly hope. I’m working on it! 
7. Handstands. I can do unsupported headstands, but I need handstands now. It will feel so accomplishing. And it’ll strengthen my back and shoulders - fundamental for tiny athletes like myself. And they look cool, ok?
8. Keep on running, swimming, tennis-ing, yoga-ing. I also really want to improve at volleyball.
9. Practise veganism on alternate weeks. I’ll figure out the parent stress thing. I must figure it out. 

You know what this list looks like? A New Year’s Resolutions list. I’m a firm believer in year-round resolutions. I mean, when you identify a problem in your life, fix it immediately - why wait for January to roll around before taking action? Really, why? How does on stand it? A wise fella once said, “If you desire something enough, it should not be classified under ‘things you desire’; rather, it should be under ‘things you are working on’ or ‘things I already have and love’.” Just kidding. I probably built that quotation with a collation of Instagram captions, YouTuber rants and inspirational school assemblies ;)

So not to bore you, here’s another chunk of information about my life (not that that’s fascinatingly fascinating but...): I’m going on a health kick :D I’m so excited. Since the last two cross-country races were cancelled due to (i) typhoon 8; and then (ii) high pollution warning (wOW this makes HK sound like a disaster zone... Yes, I’m aware of the earthquaketornadodroughthurricane areas on (in?) the west coast of North America, but ‘high pollution warning’... Really?), I haven’t been training in a few weeks. And I’ve been kinda less *ahem* disciplined and straying from a good-for-you diet. It’s true what they say - you are what you eat. I’ve been feeling less energised and snacking uncontrollably. I’m so set on getting my act back together now.

I hope this was worth reading. I certainly freed a gush of stress while composing this. Jan out.

Blogged out • Project Vegan: Part 2 | Day 2 + 3

Dear Internet Friends,

I recently read an post on Rosemary of Elephants, which flitted around the idea of writer's block and an obligatory blogging routine. I commented with what was probably a tad too much enthusiasm, writing along the lines of how I had too much to say, all the time, and that condensing my thoughts into a non-rambling post was a challenge. I know what makes a piece of writing engaging: no matter how widespread or comprehensive your content is, it's absolutely necessary to tie everything together, delivering a clear message at the end. If subjects are too scattered, the meaning behind your post will be diffused, leaving your words less worthwhile, less unique, less memorable.

Anyway, after I commented, I went about my day. Then I came home and recorded my eats. The post composition screen was looking extremely empty at that point - an introductory paragraph was lacking, my traditional 'Thoughts' section succeeding the list of meals was empty... I had nothing to say? Was I blogged out?

I decided to save this post and see what wonderful thoughts I would come up with the next day (today). Turns out, that was a wise move. Here I am today, typing wildly, thoughts pouring out of my... Fingers? Brain? Well, I'm typing with my fingers... idk. Here I am, typing wildly, unable to contain my fervour for sharing my experience with blogger's block yesterday. It's undoubtedly a lovely feeling to have recovered from that! So without further ado, here's yesterday's menu:

Breakfast

Sourdough raisin toast, unsweetened soy milk, orange

Lunch

Last night's leftover stir-fry + peppers + noodles

So hot, yet so fresh. Doesn't sound like I'm talking about food hahah. Ok ima stop. That's immature.


Snack
Red Delicious apple, salted mini pretzels, I was offered chocolate and accepting is the only socially sufficient response...

Dinner
Red rice, tofu + carrot stew, pak choy


And...
Unsweetened soy milk

Thoughts:

Like the intro, I'm writing this on Day 3. Here's a combined pic of a few scribbles from yesterday afternoon:

(From top left, clockwise)

1. Simple scribble technique

2. Floral scribble

3. Insects & spiders scribble

4. My reference

It was incredibly satisfying to be back in the studio - I'd been off art since the beginning of summer, since the start of July. That irreplaceable feeling you get from evaluating tones in front of you while adjusting your line weight by refining your wrist and finger movements - basically, drawing - ah, I LOVE IT!

P.S. - If you happen to have clicked on my link to Rosemary of Elephants, and if you happen to comment there, do drop in a word of how I linked you there! I'd appreciate it dearly - she may check out Thoughts by Jaaananannn in return, and who knows, perhaps guest-blogging in the future? Collab-blogging? Is that a thing? (Thank you)

• • • • • • •

Day 3

Breakfast

Kiwis, mixed grain toast + soy butter, unsweetened soy milk

SWIMMING ASSESSMENT. OFFICIALLY TIRED NOW.

Lunch

Baby spinach, roasted beet, avocado, Mandarin orange and walnut salad w/ blueberry pomegranate dressing | Dressed Salads ; five-grain bread

The phone screenshot on the right shows the new Dressed app, in which you scan the QR Code from your receipt and collect points! I earned 9 points from my purchase today; it's like a modern version of a stamp card. To give you an idea of what can be redeemed, 70 points wins you a free Artisan Sandwich, 80 for a free Hot Pressed Panini, 100 for a free Chef Designed or Custom Pasta, and 120 gets you a free Chef Designed or Custom Salad. The app also helps you find the nearest stores and lets you order online! Users can upload pictures to the communal Gallery as well, just for some on-the-go food porn! I forecast myself using this app very frequently in the near future :)

Snack

Dark chocolate coated digestives | Marks & Spencer ; Granny Smith apple

Dinner

Fusilli w/ Portobello mushroom, mixed bell peppers, broccoli, onion and olive oil

Something to keep me going... Revising...

Granola Crunch energy bar (organic, vegan, with 18g protein!) | PureFit

Yes, this was Saturday and Sunday. It's Thursday today. I'm sorry for putting off this post. But you gotta admit the pictures are mouthwatering :)

Jan out.

I totally forgot the excitement of being vegan! • Project Vegan: Part 2 | Day 1

I decided to change up the composition of these PVP2 (Project Vegan: Part 2) post titles. During Project Vegan, I titled my daily posts "Project Vegan: Day [#] | [Day of the week], [Date] [Month] [Year]".

If you haven't already noticed, I like to be consistent with formatting. I wouldn't call it OCD yet - I'm a psychology student; Abnormal psychology is branch sophisticated as any, and diagnosis requires many considerations - but I get extremely picky about these things. Anyway, for PVP2, my titles shall follow this template:
[Original, insightful title specific to the day] • Project Vegan: Part 2 | Day [#]


Nowww, on to today's menu:

Breakfast

Weetabix, unsweetened soy milk, raw almonds


Period 1: English
Remember English Cake Fridays? Read about them here. Anyway, it was my turn to bake. If you've been following me on Instagram, you will have seen my sneak peek pic of #rainbow snippets of #sugar. I made two dozen Low-fat Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Cookies (see recipe here) with 75% of the sugar recommended! But I did add in a fistful of rainbow sprinkles to make it my own... Anyway, here's some food porn for y'all:

Aaand, yes, there is butter and an egg weaved into the dough... I forgot about that... I guess this is a little fail? (My bad)

Period 4

Mango juice | VITA ; Dark Chocolate Mint Almond Pro protein bar | Honey Stinger

I'd been speeding through some last-minute Bio homework during Long Break, which is why I couldn't afford to eat. After Bio (Pd 3), I had to speed through last-minute Chem revision (our test was Pd 5, after lunch, and I was - surprise surprise - busy at lunch), which is why I again couldn't afford to eat... Much. So I grabbed a sugar-loaded juice (I did not mind at all, I was so focused on getting through Chem) and chomped down a protein bar I'd taken from home; I knew if I didn't eat now, I wouldn't have a chance until I got home after school, after cross-country and after circuit-training. I NEEDED THE GLUCOSE.

(See the little mint chip in the transverse section pic? It was DELISH!)

Lunch

(Meeting with my university applciations reference writer)

And then... #hongkongweather happened. Bipolarity. I promise you, I'm not exaggerating. This is particularly common in the summer/autumn months, where one minute, the sky is sunshiny clear and the clouds are glowing; three minutes later, the sky is a murky indigo-grey, thick with fog and thundering. Lightning doesn't hold back, either. After a few minutes of high-energy light streaking through the troposphere, the fog moves over to reveal a glimmering sun and a calm, calm blue sky. I told you: bipolarity. My point is, it was ultimate crash-bang-storming when I got out of Chem (the test went well, by the way)... And cross-country was cancelled. I suppose circuit would still have been possible, but I didn't check... I probably should have, shouldn't I? ...

Snack

Fruit bowl! Kiwis, Granny Smith apple

Dinner

Red rice; soybean vermicelli, wood jelly, carrot, bean sprouts, vegetarian chicken and tofu stir-fry; choy sum

This was at 17:30. That's freakin early for me, considering my bedtime. The reason why we had dinner so early was because I'm failing Maths. I mentioned this in Revisiting Project Vegan. In an attempt to fix this, I'm receiving private tutoring... At night. Six hours a week. Uh.

Brain Food after Maths

I kid you not, I googled it. I was mentally exhausted. I truly wanted to go for a run at that point.

Raw almonds, grapefruit

That was it for my first day back at Project Vegan. 

JAN OUT.

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Revisiting Project Vegan

Dear Internet Friends,

I know it's the middle of the week, but this time, I can go on for longer (or shorter). I'm talking about revisiting Project Vegan.

The dilemma holding me back last time was sports. I'm still training, though this isn't a concern any more. Back then, my mind was set on representing the school for sedan chair racing. It'll sound like an incredibly stereotypical Asian thing now, but I realised that I absolutely needed to prioritise studying this second year of IB (disclaimer: I'm using the sedan training sessions instead to do Maths - yes, I'm failing Maths. Not so stereotypically Asian anymore.). All this CAS stuff should really be conquered and run by the year 12s anyway, not the year 13s. My conclusion: for once in my life, I need to focus on myself. I can no longer put teams before everything; I need to prioritise my education and my own future. Deep.

There will be people for sedan. Actually, no. Last year (when I was an eager, happy year 12), there were at least 35 people who showed up for the first run with the chair in August. This year, not only was our first run in September, but 8 people showed. EIGHT. EIGHT = THE TEAM. Pathetic! The show at our preliminary meeting had, amongst the y12s, almost 10 girls and over 20 guys. All but two girls quit even before our first run, and well, the guys were less pathetic, but eight? Really?

One of the guys (a y13) was only there that day because the two teachers (who are rather strict, might I add) who sorted out sedan last year (and who have passed on the responsibility to a younger (less motivated, less organised teacher)) stared him down and forbade him from not participating. But he quit afterwards. So did a brilliant y13 girl (who made the team with me last year, but didn't race due to an unfortunate last-minute injury). So did I - I said, I was failing Maths (I think getting into university is more important than helping a losing team, at this point). I'm not confident that Island will be taking home the win this year, but I'm really hoping that we (they) do. Dropping sedan was difficult :\

Anyway, because I no longer need to cross-train EVERYTHING and train HARD for sedan, there's really no reason why I should refrain from going vegan. I've been appointed co-captain of the girls' tennis team, so I'll be trying arm/shoulder/back work to improve my strength, and rallying more than ever to improve my game. But because this'll all be done in moderation, in contrast to sedan, where strength and stamina are tested in exhaustive bursts of activity, protein-strength-energy-maintenance-wise, I should be fine. SUPER fine :) So. Many. Clauses there :p

In conclusion (yes, I use this conjunction IRL; yes, I just used the word 'conjunction' IRL), I am going vegan (again, temporarily, but still), starting tomorrow! I'll document my meals, etc., like last time, though because I am a kid and I live with my fammm, and because nobody (except YOU!) knows about Project Vegan, these vegan meals will not be terribly interesting. In fact, if you haven't already noticed from last time, it's almost always the same thing - Chinese cooking doesn't use much dairy, and egg isn't big for dinners, but apparently it's difficult for our helper (don't call me spoiled ok - my parents made the decision to hire her...) to make meatless dishes. I know - first world problems. But I gotta illustrate my point. My point is, please don't expect a colourful menu, though please stick around and read the thoughts I have each day from Project Vegan: Part 2.

Thank y'all for reading today! JANOUT.

I've turned my room inside-out for y'all

Dear Internet Friends,

I'm working on my second video for my channel j aaananannn. I won't say what it is just yet - the suspense (if any) and the element of surprise (not really; my channel art states that videos go up on Sundays) usually makes the viewer enjoy the substance (video) more.

But the title of this post gives a little hint: "I've turned my room inside-out for y'all". Alright, I have yet to do something crazy on camera - I'm more subdued in my everyday activities; plus, I would like to know I have more viewers before I openly embarrass myself on the internet. It feels better to know my effort is cheering up more people. Back to the point, this title, I admit, is exaggerated. My room's fine. It's messy, but not upside-down and inside-out. I just used the title to catch your attention. And it worked. My reign of short sentences ends here.

This was just a little teaser for my next video. It'll be up on Sunday (or before). Byeee! JANOUT.

Names

I feel as though I need to start addressing you, my blog readers (few as there may be), with a name. You know how celebrities have their fandom names, like Gaga's "Little Monsters" and Zendaya's "Z-Swaggers"? Most of them include some form of the subject's name, smushed with a suffix that represents a group of people (e.g. Demi Lovato's "Lovatics" and One Direction's "Directioners"). Even YouTubers have them. Connor Franta has his Frandom / Franta Family. Bethany Mota has her Motavators. Though now that I think about it, they're the only ones I know of with a fandom name (and Beth only got hers when she launched her line on Aéropostale); other YouTubers just address their viewers with a generic greeting, which they stick with for 99.99% of their videos. The rate at which fandom names are brewing has had an extremely steep incline since the 21st Century. WOw that sentence was formal. Anyway, think about it: the improvement, efficiency, trendiness and therefore potency of social media has taken the ol' school-playground-popularity-contest to a whole new level. Nowadays, being socially accepted and liked doesn't end when you leave the party, the office, the restaurant, wherever. The desire (or some may even argue, the need) to be popular follows you home. It follows you everywhere, from the comfort (?) of your own pocket. I'm talking about your phone.

Back to my point, … I never introduced my point. MY POINT IS, followers of popular people like to give themselves a name, in order to feel connected to others who appreciate / admire / stalk said popular person. With the uprise of social media, it's become increasingly common for these appreciators / admirers / stalkers … Viewers. Followers. … To weave together a family over the internet. Fandom names seem like the deciding factor of whether or not you're "popular" in today's web-slain world. All this came to mind when I wanted to address you with a name, my readers.

Naming y'all is kind of a dilemma, though. Reason being, it means I consider myself "popular". I'm worthy, of course I am - everyone is. EVERYONE. But that doesn't mean I am big-headed, a.k.a. a popularity-stricken teenager. Coining a term with which I can use to address my readers will be big-headed. Sooo, after three paragraphs, I've finally decided to do what most YouTubers do: officially name you with a "y'all" (Tyler Oakley) or "guys" (many, many, many, many YouTubers) or "lovelies" (Theodora Lee)… I can go on for a while… "Best friends" (Jim Chapman), "everybody" (Zoe Sugg "Zoella" in that adorable British accent), "internet" (Sonia Gill, in a different European accent each week)… What should I use? OMG. Pwettiwad: People Who Enjoy The Things I Write And Do. Pwettiwad. No, it does not sound like brand of sanitary napkins. TMI. Sorry. I shall stop. You read nothing.

I don't think Pwettiwad is the most appropriate anyway. Imagine me saying "Pwettiwad" in a video. How… Weird (and in the most unattractive way possible, not the "quirky", "cute" kind of weird) would that be? I'll call y'all my internet friends :)

Project Vegan: Day 7 + "Unveganising" + YouTube

I'm a week late.

Ok.

I don't remember exactly what I ate, but I'll give it a go:

Breakfast   … ?
» Swimming «
Lunch   Papaya + greens salad, wheat germ roll (it was sweet?)

Snack   Probably a fruit bowl … or something

Dinner   Minestrone w/ loads of veg and pasta :)

Probably had some milk or something…   Ok this is pathetic.


I apologise for this wonky post. I did, however, just upload my first every YouTube video. It's shared in the post prior to this one. OH.

The thing I really wanted to say last week:

I went off the vegan diet.

Let me explain.

Training has begun. After all, Project Vegan was a test-run kind of thing - it was only for a week. This isn't to say that I won't try it again in the near future :) I just needed to make sure I wasn't depriving my body of nutrients I'd been receiving for the past 17 (16… Babies don't eat much meat… Stuff… Do they?) years. What I'm trying to say is, this past week I've been having meat and everything again.

To be honest, eliminating meat and animal products from my diet actually felt clean. I never knew. I always thought it was just mind over matter. But I felt it physically, and saw it. Uh. I hope you get what I meant there :p

I'm proud of what I've achieved in Project Vegan. Tonight's post will end right about here, but I am going to write another "reflection" post very soon. It has taught me (even more) discipline and I'm so proud of myself! Despite really really really really really wanting to go vegan this coming week, I'm afraid that if I do, I'll hurt myself (somehow) during training. My right knee is already starting to give in - likely the weighted squats on Friday :/ Perhaps I'll do a few vegan days a week?

JANOUT.

P.S. I will write every few days from now on… Until I slack off again. Sorry. Also, I've decided that I'll have a video on jaaananannn every Monday. JANOUT AGAIN.

MY FIRST VIDEO + TMI TAG | jaaananannn

I finally did it.



Here, I divulge TMI about myself. Remember to rate and subscribe :) (Can't believe I just wrote that ahah)

ENJOY.



Janout.